Tag Archives: love

Oh God where art thou?

I had a discussion yesterday night with a good friend who had been fighting her own self from all the anger, disappointments and loneliness in her life. I found her very calm, quiet and serene. She told me she found Jesus again.

I don’t know how to do that.

I lost him somewhere along the way. Along the very harsh, rude, devastating life’s path. I was never a very strong believer but I did believe in God. I lost him too. I don’t believe in any higher being preaching for love and peace. But I should. It’s very cold in me. I fight to stay the good person that I am. i fight to keep that girl in me a passionate, tender, caring, loving and peaceful girl.

Where did I lose you? When exactly? I miss having you around to blame and to thank. To adore beyond any understanding. I miss believing you exist unconditionally. How do I go back? I have read so many books that said you did not exist. I have witnessed so much evil proving you don’t. Where are you now? The world needs you. We need an army of angels to fight the evil that is roaming our world. Hunger, famine, wars, richness of the riches, poorness of the poors, greed, crime, addiction, lust, pedophily, slavery… and the list goes on. People stopped believing. My friend told me that the virgin mary said the world needs an army, an army of believers and an army of prayers to fight today’s evil. I want to believe that. I want this epic movie to start and Joan of Arc to lead an army and fight back the evil occupation. Where do I enlist? There’s an army occupying countries’ riches, another one acquiring a land that is not his, a third one using chemical weapons to wipe out his own people, a plane vanishing off the face of the earth, more than 500 people sentenced to death in one trial, Bombings, killings, rapings…

Please God send your angels to enlist the very few good men left that live by your wisdom, to train them and lead them into combat. Evil is winning and it’s winning ground fast. there is no room for good anymore. there are no more good intentions left in people. If you do exist you need to come now. You sent your son and your prophets back in the days. I think you need to send the whole battalion now. send them on horses or unicorns, on chariots of wheels or of fire, send them with wings or or send your archeries. just send them now. They did it back in the days of the elves and the dwarfs. They defended Middle Earth and saved it from sauron. We can do it as well. I am sure we can.  All we need are the avengers, Gandalf, the elves, the autobots, definitely the spartans, the spy kids, wonderwoman, superman, spiderman, batman, all Marvel’s men, all the students and teachers of hogwarts and whatever is left of the humans who are still humans…

Please God come back and lead this battle. We are losing and we are losing big time.


What men want!!!

As a woman I definitely understand men’s dilemma about not knowing what we want, cause we honestly don’t know what we want so men might as well stop trying to know what women want. BUT, for a single woman, i have been trying to find out what men really want out of a relationship, their partner, work, life… I hope this post will be interactive so both genders will benefit.

To all the men out there, especially on wordpress, and especially my bloggers friends, please do tell us, poor single women what you want. Use the list below for reference if you want:

  • Should i wear make-up?
  • Should i be skinny?
  • Should i open my mouth and try to have a conversation?
  • is it ok to talk politics? religion? finance?
  • Should i be the strong woman that I am or play drama queen?
  • Should i offer to pay half the bill?
  • Should i wear high heels? I am tall already.
  • Should i be skinny or average is okay?
  • Should i wear all my clothes even to a casual outing?
  • Should i offer to meet you there or make you pick me up?
  • Should i play financially dependent on a male figure in my family? Even if I am not.
  • Should i pay half of my trip if we travel together even if you can afford it?
  • Should i keep my mouth shut even when you are wrong?
  • Should i nag?
  • Should i make the conversation sound like I am learning from you even if my knowledge i that area can teach a school?
  • Would my expensive car intimidate you? 
  • Should i be super woman? or Cinderella?
  • IS it okay if I like Rock music?
  • Eminem?
  • Is it okay if i am a single mom of two? I just want a date and some casual sex. Not a new husband (no thank you)

Men say men are easy to handle, simple beings, what we see is what we get, bla bla bla. That doesn’t seem to work anymore. Your help is highly appreciated cause it might help me get a date (laid) before i turn old and ugly. Dear ladies, your opinion is appreciated as well (#lebanonobserver). I am 38 and i can’t seem to figure this thing out. If i act strong they flee, if i act weak i’m a drama queen, if i eat a salad i’m boring, if i eat a burger i’m an insatiable cow, if i keep quiet i am opinionless, if i say my mind i am opinionated… So Botox is bad, yet wrinkles are a “forever alone” neon sign, Boob job is plastic yet natural boobs are disgusting and a sight to avoid………………………………………. 

New Year resolutions: eat less, drink less, travel more, have a boyfriend, laugh more and put some goddamn money aside… Should i even try to understand men in 2014? is it possible? achievable? I am willing if you think I should. 



It’s time to leave lala land of love behind

What is love? Where do I find it? Will it be fun and uncomplicated?
I miss being with a man and feeling his touch on me. I want to laugh at his lame jokes and wait all day for his call or the smiley face he randomly sends on whatsapp.
I have sustained a long distance relationship for 3 years now. And he’s moving in with a GF and maybe soon walking down the aisle.
Does it hurt? Yes it does. It did a lot. But then heart heals itself and moves on.
Why a long distance one? Because after divorce I couldn’t get close to a man. Fear of disappointment? Maybe
And then, out of the blue, a gorgeous looking, phd holder, extremely funny man; decides I’m a woman to die for. He gives back the very much needed confidence a woman feels after failing a marriage.  So he thought I’m beautiful,  smart, intuitive,  sharp, hard working. … in short, the queen of the world.
Now what? Now is a new phase.  No more lala land and no more dreaming.
I need to lower my standards maybe, give more chances, smile and be flirtatious. It should work.
I’m 37 and what scares me like hell is that one day my kids will grow up and leave me to pursue their own dreams. Will I be alone? Will I meet someone who really wants to know the crazy ME? Let’s wait and see. But for now, what is most definite and sure, is that we need to get over the beautiful man who made love like no one else ever did, and who knew what the problem was from a “hello” from thousands of miles away.
I love every second I spent with you on chat; whatsapp, phone,  skype…. and I cherish every split of every second I had with you when we escaped reality and met in our lala land.
Thank you for the best three years of my life.
It’s time for me to move on…

Valentine! Damn you!!!

I came to funny conclusion this year about Valentine’s day.

If you’re in love, or married, or in any relationship (be it honest or a game), you kinda like Valentine’s day and look forward to it, no matter how old you are. My colleagues are all married or in a relationship, and they all had their expectations for this love day. One was hoping for a romantic dinner and a gift (of course, women hate it all if no blue box appears to top everything, and we always reply: you have done so much, there was no need…bla bla bla), another for a trip. an escapade (and a gift of course), one wanted a romantic night and plenty of hot kinky sex (and a gift of course)…. It’s nice to see the joy this day spreads around women. And boys i really hope you did your job well this year.

the funny thing about this day is how much it is hated by loners. we dread it and think it’s extremely stupid, insulting, outrageous and should be illegalized. We kinda liked it much more and waited for it anxiously when we had  some story going on.

hmmm…. Einstein’s relativity concept i guess… it does work perfectly in this case…

I hated Valentine’s day this year. My kids got me a teddy bear holding a heart and that was the sweetest thing that kept me from sobbing the whole fucking night.

so screw you cupid, I warn you, you better visit me for next year or i’m taking out my rage on you….