Stupid Ex-Husband

Angry-Birds-2 copy

I love how therapeutical blogging is becoming to me. I have always loved writing, and maybe someday I will have my own book, but this blog is helping me vent my anger in a civilized way.

When do I get full freedom from my ex-husband? Is he always gonna be around? I have two kids with him. is he always gonna be present? Is crime still illegal? I need to check… The fucking ass of a bitch of a bird minded man is threatening to change my kids’ school cause he cannot afford it anymore. PLEASE keep in mind that the loser fuck just came from a 21 days vacation trip with his girlfriend to the US. Why do men feel like the kids belong to the mom. We are Lebanese, the mom can never give her identity to the children. I wish I could cause I definitely would. 

To all the inconsiderate, rude, idiot, cruel, evil, weak, stupid, meaningless, loser, workless ex HUSBANDZEZ out there, we are your kids’ moms you fuckheads, we raise, feed, clothe, tutor, drive to activities, culture and nurture them. We spend all our energy, youth, beauty, passion, dreams and money on them so they grow up to be good beings and stable adults and treat the girls properly and decently. The only thing that you, braindead as a pebble, must do is pay for their education. So instead of going out every night, buying clothes, shoes, a new car, the latest phone, and definitely instead of taking your even stupider GF on a trip, keep my kids in a proper school. Where does it end? How can such a father get the heroic image? My kids love their dad. He is their hero in every sense. When will it be the right time to tell them what a loser he is? is it ever? should i protect his secret from the beings i cherish the most so they keep that hero idea of him? will they ever come around? and let me know they appreciate the sacrifice i did? will they ever see that sacrifice? When do we take our deserved statuses in the kids’ eyes? I want them to see, to realize, to appreciate, to learn and definitely not to redo the same mistakes nor make the same choices. 

I am very very angry…

My dad and technology, a beautiful love story

My dad is 68 years old. He is an ex general and a lawyer. So growing up with him (and under his rule) wasn’t always easy.

He never did trust technology. Technology was that thing that used to be in a box, emitting black and white animated images, became a flat screen and the images turned colorful.

Until very very recently, like Christmas 2013, my dad had the Motorola mobile phone. yes, the motorola mobile phone.  Until my bro got him the new Samsung 4. Remind you, he is retired, 68 and my mom’s life long only partner. I am sure you all have a sample at home. My mom got herself the biggest gift she could ever get, an occupation, when she turned 55. No news, my dad retired and came back home. It was either that catering company idea or life in prison. I am almost sure they would have killed each other.

and so TECHNOLOGY AVAILS to my father. He is asking a million question per day. He is asking the same question a million time over and over again. I don’t get it. is our generation born technologically adapted? why is it so easy to handle it, understand it, operate it? why is it so hard for him to simply flip through the Samsung pages? he presses so hard EVERY F… TIME that the page goes into the edit mode. Dad, just slide it, one finger, gently, smoothly. and it just doesn’t happen. It doesn’t happen. 

We take technology so much for granted now that we expect every being to handle it as fast as we do. Every time we sit together he has a list with all these questions that never seem to end. It is never a wrap for any subject. It is crazy. and then you see every sibling of mine starting by being gentle and balanced and trying to teach him stuff, and ending up screaming and shouting and cursing the fucking second my dad got an android phone. The guy used to teach math as a part time recruit in the military school. So the brain is definitely there and very operational. We added Dad to the family group chat on whatsapp. Oh my freaking lord. he hammers us with a thousand message in a day. It feels like teenage years again. We have to say Good morning and Good night every day, he checks on our kids 3 times a day, he keeps us well informed and tells us of any breaking news. He is having a blast there and i love it. The best moment of the day is his morning message: “BONJOUR SHABEIB”. 

I love you pap and I love how technologically impaired you are. I am sure you will get the hang of it. You got the hang of every aspect of our lives…

 

What men want!!!

As a woman I definitely understand men’s dilemma about not knowing what we want, cause we honestly don’t know what we want so men might as well stop trying to know what women want. BUT, for a single woman, i have been trying to find out what men really want out of a relationship, their partner, work, life… I hope this post will be interactive so both genders will benefit.

To all the men out there, especially on wordpress, and especially my bloggers friends, please do tell us, poor single women what you want. Use the list below for reference if you want:

  • Should i wear make-up?
  • Should i be skinny?
  • Should i open my mouth and try to have a conversation?
  • is it ok to talk politics? religion? finance?
  • Should i be the strong woman that I am or play drama queen?
  • Should i offer to pay half the bill?
  • Should i wear high heels? I am tall already.
  • Should i be skinny or average is okay?
  • Should i wear all my clothes even to a casual outing?
  • Should i offer to meet you there or make you pick me up?
  • Should i play financially dependent on a male figure in my family? Even if I am not.
  • Should i pay half of my trip if we travel together even if you can afford it?
  • Should i keep my mouth shut even when you are wrong?
  • Should i nag?
  • Should i make the conversation sound like I am learning from you even if my knowledge i that area can teach a school?
  • Would my expensive car intimidate you? 
  • Should i be super woman? or Cinderella?
  • IS it okay if I like Rock music?
  • Eminem?
  • Is it okay if i am a single mom of two? I just want a date and some casual sex. Not a new husband (no thank you)

Men say men are easy to handle, simple beings, what we see is what we get, bla bla bla. That doesn’t seem to work anymore. Your help is highly appreciated cause it might help me get a date (laid) before i turn old and ugly. Dear ladies, your opinion is appreciated as well (#lebanonobserver). I am 38 and i can’t seem to figure this thing out. If i act strong they flee, if i act weak i’m a drama queen, if i eat a salad i’m boring, if i eat a burger i’m an insatiable cow, if i keep quiet i am opinionless, if i say my mind i am opinionated… So Botox is bad, yet wrinkles are a “forever alone” neon sign, Boob job is plastic yet natural boobs are disgusting and a sight to avoid………………………………………. 

New Year resolutions: eat less, drink less, travel more, have a boyfriend, laugh more and put some goddamn money aside… Should i even try to understand men in 2014? is it possible? achievable? I am willing if you think I should. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE IN THE WORLD, ALL THE WAY FROM LEBANON, A TINY COUNTRY IN THE MIDDLE EAST.

 

Here we go again Beirut – Part III

7 days since the last blast rocked Beirut. Beirut you rock. All is dazzled and all is mad. I love how fast our mindless twisted schizophrenic politicians find words to say on TV and social media…

And today business as usual.
I don’t have any feelings anymore. I am numb and blank.

This is a call to Lebanon’s youth: HELP US. You are the only chunk of lebanese who actually can. Our generation is drained and disappointed. We do not believe in Lebanon anymore. We want to leave and have peace. We want to leave and find work. We want to leave and be alive. You still believe. You still frustrate. You still anger. take it to the streets. We did it in 2005. Save us cause no one else can. We fought for Syria to get out, you fight for unity. And for godssake do NOT vote.
This is a call to Lebanon’s leaders: You fucking suck. All of you. I wish the next suicider will save us from each and everyone of you. You have innocent blood on your hands while your blood still flows in your rotten veins. Each and everyone of you is responsible for our fear, frustration and anger.
This is a call to the bombers and suiciders: I beg of thee aim well. I beg of thee aim right. I beg of thee take out your target and only your target. Your cause; no matter how strong and god driven it is; has no success story. You are killing innocent people. If you are doing it in the name of God you fucking moron, God will not forgive you and i hope your skin burns inch by inch while you still live in hell you soulless bastard.
I hope you found that job my Lobnene friend… I sure as hell am looking…