A dim light in pitch black darkness

With everything happening in the world today,  especially in our beloved country of the cedar and the Phoenicians, u get the chance once in a while to go out and have a blast on a Saturday night.  Yesterday was one of these crazy nights.  It happened to be my young brother’s bday, the right crowd was there (my kind of crowd at least), the perfect music was playing (some 80s & 90s and some rock), the snacks, the drinks…. it was one of these nights that makes me think twice of accepting that overseas job i applied to to escape the bitter reality of the country I live in. 
Then morning come, you turn on the TV and hear some crazy people playing nostradamus and telling us how fucked up our 2014 is going to be. Get ready people, the UNCHR has reported a number of 4.000.000 refugees in 2014. Every lebanese will have the social and financial burden of a syrian refugee.
I guess the plan has changed once again, the plan for a new house has to wait, again.
I hate the imbalance I’m feeling. The “should I go or should I stay” song repeating its play for the past 10 years now. I need a new song in my life…


8 thoughts on “A dim light in pitch black darkness”

  1. It’s almost as if you and I are living the same exact life – it’s insane! I can’t decide whether or not to stay here. I was moving house a month ago then decided to lie low. I have a very good job here which is what keeps me from making crazy decisions. But I also want what’s best for my two kids.
    I don’t know. Every year, I think ok, let’s wait another year. Let’s see what this year brings….

    1. That’s what scares me the most is us deciding what’s best for our kids and then ending up wasting whatever is left of our “youth” for that purpose and still making a lousy choice. What is best fpr your two kids? Staying here among family or moving out to a more secure unknown lala land??? What do you do for a living?

      1. It is tough I know. I’m a Business Development Manager at a great company. I’ve tried to relocate with them but they want me here. One of your posts described a typical day in my life. I believe it’s the one about you and your therapist 🙂 I just know for a fact that I can do so much better if I weren’t here. But there is so much to take into consideration. I had such a great life as a kid. And if I stay here, I could never give my kids that, you know what i mean?

      2. I know exactly what you mean. I got offered a job in doha, a very well paid job. The difference between you and me is that I have a hugeee support from my family both financially and emotionally, and being a single mom the decision of a relocation scares me to death. If I do it my kids will live far away from their father (the thing I worked so hard for them to have is a good father figure) and I would be all by myself. But then again if I stay here, I’m limiting my kids to this god forsaken country and the lame opportunities and insecurity. And that scares me even more.

      3. Wait a second. I’m a single mom too 🙂 . And I have great support from my family too but thankfully, I don’t need it most of the time. I do worry about uprooting the kids but I also want to make sure we all get what’s best for us.
        I’m not scared of relocating. I’ve lived in way too many countries to be worried about one more move. Also I would imagine UAE as a good place for me right now since I have quite a bit of family there now and a hell of a lot of friends. But as always, I missed main the decision before the start of the school year so I have to wait a little more now. Unless by some unforeseen miracle, Lebanon pulls it’s socks up and gives back 🙂

      4. And that’s the scary part my blogger friend, lebanon will never pull its socks up nor will it be able to ever give back again. And if we stay here waiting for it and expecting it to our kids will hear the same names in the news that you and I and both our parents heard. So cheers to super single moms and fighters 🙂 and good luck in all ur future decisions and wherever they may lead you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s