It’s time to leave lala land of love behind

What is love? Where do I find it? Will it be fun and uncomplicated?
I miss being with a man and feeling his touch on me. I want to laugh at his lame jokes and wait all day for his call or the smiley face he randomly sends on whatsapp.
I have sustained a long distance relationship for 3 years now. And he’s moving in with a GF and maybe soon walking down the aisle.
Does it hurt? Yes it does. It did a lot. But then heart heals itself and moves on.
Why a long distance one? Because after divorce I couldn’t get close to a man. Fear of disappointment? Maybe
And then, out of the blue, a gorgeous looking, phd holder, extremely funny man; decides I’m a woman to die for. He gives back the very much needed confidence a woman feels after failing a marriage.  So he thought I’m beautiful,  smart, intuitive,  sharp, hard working. … in short, the queen of the world.
Now what? Now is a new phase.  No more lala land and no more dreaming.
I need to lower my standards maybe, give more chances, smile and be flirtatious. It should work.
I’m 37 and what scares me like hell is that one day my kids will grow up and leave me to pursue their own dreams. Will I be alone? Will I meet someone who really wants to know the crazy ME? Let’s wait and see. But for now, what is most definite and sure, is that we need to get over the beautiful man who made love like no one else ever did, and who knew what the problem was from a “hello” from thousands of miles away.
I love every second I spent with you on chat; whatsapp, phone,  skype…. and I cherish every split of every second I had with you when we escaped reality and met in our lala land.
Thank you for the best three years of my life.
It’s time for me to move on…

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